just some thoughts...12 years

Heather and Jonathon at Mom's Memorial
Heather being herself!!


>Well today is the day after March 8.....12 years since my Mother passed away.....Heather ran up to me when I arrived home from work yesterday and said "Mom I know what today is....it's the anniversary of when your Mom passed out!" I had to laugh and gently explained that she passed away.

My Mother's passing still has been the single most defining point in my life. I remember the obituary my Father had in the paper...."Death is not an end...rather an opportunity to fulfill a life of higher usefulness". While at the time I could understand that on an intellectual level (head)...I couldn't feel it in my heart.

Now it's been 12 years....Jonathon is now 12...on the verge of being a teenager. Heather Carole was born and is now 8....and she reminds me of my Mother in so many ways......little gestures, her need to be prim and proper.....and her zest for life in general.

At first I really didn't know how to function and make decisions without her. I was angry that she wouldn't be there to help me as a new Mother myself...Now 12 years later, I know she is ALWAYSwith me. I have learned to trust myself and be my own person....I see her in both my children and I am so blessed.

Sometimes I still get teary eyed....but mostly I just remeber how fortunate I was to have her as my Mother......then I look at my own children and see her in them!